TWO current fundraising opportunities!

We are so thankful for the MANY people who have come along side of us during this adoption journey. We are so thankful for each of you!!!!

We SHOULD be receiving a referral soon. Because of that we are kicking it in high gear to raise the rest of the money that will need for the referral expenses and travel costs! We are hoping to travel at the end of the summer. I (Tisha) will need to stay in country for a minimal of 3 weeks (most likely will be 4-6 weeks). Monte will return home after our court date which will happen the first week we are there.

We currently have two fundraisers going on.
The first is an online Scentsy fundraiser. Our family will receive 25% of all sales. I have never owned any Scentsy products, but I hear they are wonderful!
You can order HERE... this fundraiser will ONLY go through 2/16!

Our second fundraiser is pretty cool too. When you donate $20 on THIS SITE you will receive a $50 E-Certificate for restaurant.com. This website has 18,000 restaurants nationwide. You can break up the E-Certificate and use it on multiply restaurants. Also it doesn't expire! Our family will receive $10 for each donation. Our goal is $3,000. This will almost cover the cost of our plane tickets.

We have other fundraisers that will be starting soon, so don't forget to check back!

God's Protection

This past Friday I boarded a plane with 2 friends. We left the snowy, icy midwest and went south to Georgia. There was a conference for adoptive moms and it was amazing!


Here are a few pictures...

This is where we stayed. It was beautiful! The weather was so nice (except for the rain on Friday). By the time we left on Sunday, it was in the 60s with very sunny skies.

These were my roomies! LOVE them!

I could go on and on about my weekend, but that is not the reason for this post.

When I got home Sunday night, Monte told me that I needed to call my parents. I figured it was just to let them know I made it home safely, but when my Dad answered the phone and said,

"Well, T I have some bad news."

I knew immediately my grandfather had passed.

John A. Hubbard passed away two weeks prior to his 89th birthday on Saturday, February 5th. My parents and Monte talked in length about whether or not they should tell me while I was away from home. Monte decided it was best to wait because he knew I was really looking forward to this weekend to focus on God and adoption. They knew they were taking a chance with me finding out on facebook or getting an email, but figured that I wouldn't have much time to check those things, especially since I didn't bring my laptop and I don't have a smart phone.

Here is where the cool God story comes in:
On Sunday, I needed to get into my email to print off my boarding pass for the plane ride home. The first thing I noticed was that I had a lot of emails (50+) and most of them were from facebook. I remember thinking, "I don't have time for this, I'll be able to check them when I get home". Also, I kept my phone in the room all weekend and I noticed late Saturday night that I missed a call from my cousin in Maine. She left me a voicemail and once again I told myself I would just check it later.

Can you believe that? Normally I would take the time to check the emails and voicemails, but it is a total God thing that I didn't. Who says that God doesn't care about the details? He protected me from finding out from someone other than my parents! His grace blows me away. Praise the Lord!

My grandfather died without us knowing his spiritual state. My mother told him over and over on Friday and even prayed the sinners prayer in hopes that he felt it in his heart even if he didn't vocalize it. The thing that was different was that my grandfather was at peace on Friday and up until this point he hadn't been at all.

I am going to take a blogging break so I can spend some quality time with my family. Thank you for your love, support and prayers. Words cannot express how thankful I am for each one of you. ***hugs***

Daily comments...

Yes, they are all mine...

No, I do not run a daycare and I don't care to take your number so I can watch yours...

Yes, they are twins even though they don't look alike...

No, I am not babysitting for a friend...

No, I am not a foster mom...

Yes, my hands are full, but not in the way you are thinking...

Yes, our brains are functioning just fine...

No, we didn't adopt just so we could finally have girls...

No, I didn't commit adultery (I HAVE been asked this)...

As you can imagine, we do get lots of *interesting* comments when we are out. I have learned to not get upset with the non-intellegant questions or to take it personally. God picked this family with His own hands and we are daily reminded that we need to live for Him. We can have such a positive impact on the world around us, because we are different. I will use our unique family structure to share the love of Christ with the world. I am thankful for the opportunity to serve the Lord in this way. I am blessed!

Christ centered support...

A friend recently told me about a foster care and adoption support group that is for the people living in our county. The thing that drew me to the group was their monthly *Parents Night Out*. They have it at a local gymnastics facility! It is for 4 hours and it is for FREE! So I decided I would sing up for this group, because I love date night!

I went to my first meeting in December with the thought that Monte and I would have our first date night in January. The meeting I attended was informal. It was really a Christmas party. I got there early. *you can get places REALLY fast when you are not escorting five kids* I was able to watch the leader of the group interact with her family. She and her husband were very rude and yelling at their foster children and it really took me back. I figured it was probably stressful getting to the meeting and getting everything ready, so I let it go.

Slowly, very slowly, people started showing up. It was suppose to start at 10a (I got there at 9:50a) and it didn't really get started until 10:20a. That is one of my big pet peeves, but again I let it go, not knowing the "best" was yet to come.

The leader of this group stood at the front of this group of probably 40ish foster parents, I was the only one there that had only adopted, and she started bashing her foster children's birth family relentlessly. I am sure my eyes were bugging out of my eyes. I could not believe this was happening. Then her next tongue lashing was for DCS (department of child services) and how horrible they are. Now I will admit that they do have their issues (what government run organization doesn't?), but it was not the time or the place to express these vicious thoughts. AND the kicker was, DCS PAID for the party. They gave this group HUNDREDS of dollars for this Christmas celebration party. I am sure they didn't know what was going on behind their backs.

By this time I was getting sick to my stomach... then the self serving started. They are wonderful. Most people only give during the Christmas season, but they give all year long... blah, blah, blah. Oh and the cursing was just the icing on the cake.

Needless to say, I left that meeting with my heart feeling very heavy. I started emailing a friend that came to the meeting too and suddenly a vision was born. A support group where CHRIST is the center. No bashing, no cursing... just love and encouragement. Isn't that what a support group is suppose to do?

We had our first meeting at the end of December and 9 women showed up with only one week notice. We have started a group on facebook and we are up to 42 women. Not counting the ones that are not on facebook. I have been FLOORED at the response that we have gotten. It obviously was very needed!

We are going to start the Bible Study "Empowered to Connect" by Karyn Purvis. I *kinda* read the book that Karyn wrote, "The Connected Child", but I know I will really like going through the study with other adoptive moms.

Are any of you in a support group? Do you have any ideas on topics or Bible studies? This is all new to me and my prayer is that it is effective, people remain interested and it is stays centered on Christ!

18 months later...

Our precious girls have been in our arms for 18 months today! In the beginning time seemed to go very slow, but with each new day and finally finding our new normal, time has FLOWN!

When we received their referral we were told by the international pediatrician that they had minor malnourishment. We now believe they had pretty significant malnourishment because in the 18 months that we have had them, Chloe has gained 20 pounds and grown 7.5 inches... Hannah has gained 15.5 pounds and grown 8 inches. That is a lot of weight and many inches! They really haven't grown too much in the last few months, so most of that growing was in the first year. I remember Hannah was in 3T clothes for less than a month. I was so thankful for hand-me-downs!

First time holding Chloe.

*Precious story*... When we walked into the orphanage, Monte had the camcorder recording as I was trying to find the girls. In the footage you see all the toddlers sitting on the potties *adorable*. Then Monte finds Chloe and zooms in on her as she is pointing to Monte and getting the attention of her special Mothers saying, "Papa, Papa, Papa!" I didn't realize or remember she had done this until I watched the video for the first time (many, many months later). The tears just flowed as I watched this precious child point to her father that she has never seen in person, only pictures, and get so excited about him being there. Needless to say nothing has changed. As soon as he is through the door each night, she is right there ready for her daily hugs and kisses.

It took Hannah a LONG time to warm up. She wouldn't let us hold her at all. We were prepared for at least one of them to resist us and we just gave her space.

Our first smile from Hannah. This was probably more than an hour after we met her. The sunglasses and suckers were a big hit.

Our first picture with the girls! The special mother's had them in matching shirts. Their thoughtfulness really touched me.

I took these pictures of the girls today! They have changed so much in 18 months.

Chloe Desalech and Hannah Amarech,

I love you from the bottom of my heart. I seriously can't imagine my life without you, my princesses. You have been such a blessing to Mommy! You have overcome so much and I am so proud of both of you!

Lots and Lots of love,

Mommy

Poverty doesn't leave them...

First off, Melkam Genna! That means Merry Christmas in Amharic. Today is Christmas in Ethiopia. Because they are on a different calendar than us, they celebrate on January 7th. Tonight, we are getting together with 6 other adoptive families at a local restaurant to celebrate. I am really looking forward to it and the girls cannot wait!

As most of my blog reader know, our adoption story has not rainbows and lollipops. It has been hard! I do have to say that it has gotten a lot better, but we still have a ways to go. I haven't written about it in a while, because sometimes it is just hard to find the words to say. I am not a great writer, so it is hard for me to write my thoughts effectively on paper.

Last month a friend, Shannon, posted this following chart on her blog. My mouth dropped to the floor when I started reading it.

I am also computer challenged. I couldn't figure out how to make it big enough for you to read on my blog, so you can follow the link at the bottom or print it off.


You can find the website HERE

The chart was made to show how Fetal Alcohol Syndrome can effect children in many different ways, but that is not what drew me to the chart. I am 99.5% sure our girls were not exposed to alcohol in the womb.

It was the last column that caught my eye... POVERTY. Poverty has 6 characteristics and can you believe that one of our girls has ALL SIX of them and the other one has half of them. It was a breakthrough moment for me. Just because they were taken away from the poverty doesn't mean that it no longer effects them. It also made me realize that we are not dealing with major attachment issues.

One of the biggest things the girls have is: manage time poorly/lacking of comprehension of time. I will admit this one is very frustrating to me. It takes them FOREVER to do anything. Getting ready in the morning or at night, cleaning their room, eating (for one), getting in and our of the van and on and on. I thought it was them just being defiant (we deal with that too), but I now think it is from their environment as an infant/toddler. It has made me realize I NEED to be more patient. When you live in a third world country, time doesn't matter. Most can only focus on getting food and water. Every day is the same. There isn't piano lessons, school (for the majority), library time or sport practices to think about and schedule. It is just them, desperately trying to survive. How horrible of me to be frustrated because they are making us run late. I have been making changes in myself. No it hasn't made the behavior any better, but it is helping me to refocus.

These two little girls have made me realize how selfish I was. They actually have made me realize a lot about myself. Really, I believe the Lord has used the adoption to do just that. I am a work in progress, to say the least!

I felt like I needed to share this chart, because maybe it would help one of you understand the reason of your child's behavior.

Hair!

Hannah and Chloe have been home for almost 18 months. I have spend no less than a small fortune trying to find the right products for their hair. Honestly, mostly Chloe's. She has very tight curls and a lot of products JUST.DO.NOT.WORK. I have found that Hannah's hair works with about anything, so I mostly focus on Chloe's.

I often get asked what I use on the girls' hair, but I wanted to wait until I found the perfect products before I shared with the world. Friends... I am so happy to share a few of my favorite things.

Here is what I use for a conditioner. I only wash their hair every 1 to 2 weeks, but I co-wash (conditioner only) at least a couple of times a week. Their online site is HERE, but I am able to get it at our local Whole Foods store.

Now here are the dream products I am so excited to tell you about... Kinky-Curly! Their website is HERE. I also buy the things at Whole Foods, but you can get them at some Target stores too.

I use the Knot Today when I have Chloe's hair "free". It only takes about 10 minutes to detangle. It is a wonderful product and a little goes a long way. I also use it on Hannah's hair, but I find most days if I just get it damp it detangles pretty easily.

Then I get Chloe's hair VERY wet and put the Curling Custard in. It is the only product that I have found that keeps her hair fresh and curly for hours. I also use it in Hannah's hair, but I use a very small amount and it stays curly all day.
These two products are perfect for Chloe's thick curly hair. They also work on Hannah's, but I think I would use lighter things if both girls had hair like hers.

Here is my kinky curly hair princess...

LOVE those curls!

Hannah was not interested in getting her picture taken... welcome to my life with 3 year olds!

I hope everyone is having a great start to their week!

Blessings for the Falvo Family, follow up

Yesterday I received an anonymous money order for the Falvo family. I really hope the person who sent it reads my blog, because I wanted to say THANK YOU! We have now raised $1,376 for this amazing family.

When I felt the Lord telling me to do this, I really had no idea what I was doing. I have never done anything like this before and didn't know what to expect. When I started, I had no goal as to how much money I wanted us to raise. I just told everyone the Falvo's story and you all did the rest. In the process you have blessed them and MYSELF beyond my wildest dreams. You all rock, seriously!

So, thank you to each one of you who gave to them. We have been able to get Taiya a lot of the high nutrient formula that she needs. We also have sent them a HUGE package of wipes and diapers and we are not done yet!!

You still have till the end of the year to donate to them if you feel led!

In closing... the Falvo's have a wonderful announcement that they shared with the world this week. You can read it HERE!

Ethiopian Cultural Event

I feel very blessed to live in an area that has a large community of Ethiopian Americans. I feel even more blessed that they have embraced adoptive families with open arms and go out of their way to bring Ethiopian culture to us!

On Saturday night 300 people came together because we all have one common link... Ethiopian adoption. Pastor Yosef's is an Ethiopian American and his church put on a cultural event for adoptive families. People came from all over the midwest. They ended up having to turn people away because the church couldn't fit another person... trust me, it couldn't. It was a wonderful time of fellowship with people who have the same heart!

There was singing and dancing...

They even taught the kids a song and dance in Amharic...

There was LOTS of yummy food. I guess I was too busy eating, because I don't have one picture of the food! No really it is always chaotic trying to get food for 7 people and then making sure everyone has what they need. I am so thankful all my kids LOVE Ethiopian food.

Here are the girls and their sweet friend Beza. Beza was also at Hannah's Hope and came home six months before the girls. I am so thankful there is a little girl their age just 15 minutes away. I see lots of fun sleepovers in our future!

The girls with Pastor Yosef. Our family adores him!

The girls are very clingy when we are in large groups, so it look them a long time to warm up, but they ended up having a great time. They loved everything about the night! I can't wait till the next gathering!

A visit with the Aarseth's!

The other day at 11:15a the Aarseth family pulled into our driveway. I can't even begin to tell you all how excited I was to have them here. I have known DeeDee for two years now. We got our dossiers into our adoption agency around the same time. For those of you who have not adopted, you become VERY close with the families around you while you wait for your referral. There is a strong chance that you will travel with some of them and we were blessed to be able to travel with the Aarseth's! For me and for a lot of adoptive parents, the families that you travel with end up being a part of your family.

We have not seen the Aarseth's since we said good-bye in Ethiopia (15 1/2 months ago). We have tried to get together a couple of times, but plans have fallen through. But yesterday they arrived after driving all night from Texas. It was wonderful to be able to spend time with them again and to meet Jackson for the first time!

While Paul, DeeDee and Olivia took a nap, I took the other kids to the park!

Hannah being a drama queen

Sweet Jackson

Chloe showing me her "pumping" skills

Then that night we had a couple of other AGCI families over for dinner. Here are the girls and Zek (Oh how I love them to pieces). There were 20 people in our little house and I loved every minute of it! I am so thankful no one got sick from my cooking! Another answer to prayer. :)

Here are all the kids the next morning before the Aarseth's continued on their journey to Chicago...

and our Ethiopian princesses...

We LOVE you guys and we really want to see you before you move to ETHIOPIA!! That's right, they are moving to Ethiopia to become missionaries in July of next year! We are going to miss them a ton, but we are so excited for what the Lord has in store for them!

You can read more about their coming adventure on their blog HERE!

*UPDATE* I am still collecting money for the Falvo family. We raised over $500 in 4 days! How awesome is that? If you wouldn't mind getting the word out on facebook and the blog world, I would greatly appreciate it!

On the wild side...

Monte has been talking about getting a tattoo for over a year now. I am not a tattoo person, at all, so when the topic came up I would just nod, smile and hope he would change his mind.

Then he told me what kind of tattoo he wanted...

A Bible verse in Amharic (the main language spoken in Ethiopia).

He got my attention and I slowly warmed up to the idea.

This past Saturday he got together with our local Ethiopian Pastor, Yosef. He showed Monte the verses in our Amharic Bible.

That night Monte went to the tattoo parlor {he shared some interesting tales} and 2 hours later came home with this...

It is from Psalm 127:3-5 "children are a heritage from the Lord... like arrows in the hand of a warrior... blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them..."'

His whole purpose of getting a tattoo was not to hid it. For him it is his testimony and he decided to put it on his forearm.

He didn't get home until late Saturday night, so the kids didn't see it until Sunday morning. Hannah LOVES it. She kept grabbing his arm saying, "Ethiopia, Daddy!" and showing her siblings again and again. We really think she recognizes the letters. It was precious!

Life continues to stay busy here at the Alexander establishment! I will hopefully post pictures soon of all that we are involved in this fall. Have a great week!

Would you pray??

I have a situation that needs prayer...

I have a dear friend (cannot name names) and they have been made aware of a birth mother (she is due in October) that is looking for very specific criteria for the family she chooses for her baby. The cool thing is... they fit ALL the criteria!!!! They are getting all their profile information together to send to the birth mother. Would you pray for the birth mother as she makes a decision for a forever family for her baby? I am not sure how domestic adoptions work, so I don't know how long it will take.

I am over-the-moon excited for my friend, they have been waiting for this for a LONG time, but I can't even imagine how hard this is for the birth mother. So, if you think of it please be praying for all the people involved(baby included).

I will just add that this has all happened in the last TWENTY-FOUR hours!!!

A great opportunity!

A month or so ago one of my facebook friends {I wish I remember who} posted a link to Kevin Hofmann's blog, My Mind On Paper. I have been an avid reader ever since. You see, Kevin is biracial and was adopted into an all white family in the late sixties. He has written a book, "Growing Up Black In White" and it is about his growing up years. I just finished reading it and it is very insightful. I highly recommend it.

There are two things that I really appreciate about Kevin. The first one is that he is not a bitter adoptee (there are so many out there). He is so thankful to his parents and he thinks adoption is a wonderful thing. The other thing with Kevin is the fact he really wants to help parents be better adoptive parents. It just flat out amazes me. Most people want to write a book and be done, but not Kevin. He really wants to help!

Last week he posted on his blog that he wanted to help transracial families increase their Cultural Exposure Time (CET). This is something that I have been thinking a lot about. I really want to do all that I can to help the girls embrace who they are. I feel there is so much we can do to expose them not only to other Ethiopian Americans, but African Americans in general.

Kevin started a group called Eating Elephants 101. {you'll understand the description better if you read his blog post} He said that the first 10 families that emailed him would be included in his first group. I am very thankful that our family was one of the 10 and we are now Eating Elephants for the next 30 days. He gives us a weekly assignment about how to increase our families CET and works with each family individually. For free I might add!

I am really excited to learn more! I have already learned that there is an AA newpaper in Indy AND an AA gospel radio station. Awesome!

I will keep you all posted on how it is going. Until then I encourage you to check out his blog!

Our first "Gotcha Day"

July 13, 2009

One year later...

I can't believe the girls have been in our arms for one year today. I can't believe it has been a year since we landed in Ethiopia and were changed forever. It has not been an easy year, but I have never felt the love of God like I have these past 12 months.

How are the girls doing? The girls are doing so much better. When I reflect on the last year, I can't imagine what they were thinking or feeling in the beginning, but the pictures say a lot. They were miserable. My heart aches for them and for their loss. They often talk about their birth family. I know they miss them deeply and I know that only God can heal that pain. I am not an attachment expert, but I believe that one of the girls has adjusted, for the most part. The other is having a harder time and I think it'll take a lot longer than a year for her to feel like she is home and we are forever. If I have learned anything doing this journey it is that no one knows the answers. They is no magic time frame for them to feel like we are their forever family. I now have no time frames that I lean on. When it happens, it happens. Until then we'll just keep doing what we have been doing, love her unconditionally.

I love these girls. I know without a doubt that they are ours. I wish everyone could experience adoption. It is amazing and I feel blessed to be able to do it. I know it has made our family closer and more loving.

Thank you so much for walking the last year with us. I can't imagine not having my friends and family along side us. I say this often, but I know it is true... we are blessed, very blessed!

Wordless Wednesday, AGCI Picnic

I promise I will write again, but until then... enjoy ANOTHER Wordless Wednesday!

Ethiopia Tshirts

I know I have turned into a horrible blogger. To say that five kids keeps me busy would be an understatement. It was easy to blog while we were cocooning. We were home all day long. Each. And. Every. Day. Then winter set in and as you know, the cold and I do not get along. So again... plenty of time to blog. Now that spring is here we have no reason to be inside and it has been great. But I miss you all. Not only is my blogging lagging, but also my blog reading.

I have been meaning to blog about the girls' new shirts. How adorable are they?

You can order your Ethiopian princess or prince one HERE! They are an adoption fundraiser for the Rossi family. She is very talented and also has adult shirts, infant onsies and headbands. Thanks Megan... we LOVE them!

Referralversary...

One year ago today we received THE call. The call that told me I was the mother of two year old twins girls. The call that assured me that God had an awesome plan for our family. More than anything I could ever dream!

Here are our referral pictures...

I will forever be in awe of God's blessings on our life. It hasn't been an easy road, but I know this is the exact road God intended for our family. What more can we ask?

Here is a picture of the girls today.

What a difference a year makes!!