Poverty doesn't leave them...

First off, Melkam Genna! That means Merry Christmas in Amharic. Today is Christmas in Ethiopia. Because they are on a different calendar than us, they celebrate on January 7th. Tonight, we are getting together with 6 other adoptive families at a local restaurant to celebrate. I am really looking forward to it and the girls cannot wait!

As most of my blog reader know, our adoption story has not rainbows and lollipops. It has been hard! I do have to say that it has gotten a lot better, but we still have a ways to go. I haven't written about it in a while, because sometimes it is just hard to find the words to say. I am not a great writer, so it is hard for me to write my thoughts effectively on paper.

Last month a friend, Shannon, posted this following chart on her blog. My mouth dropped to the floor when I started reading it.

I am also computer challenged. I couldn't figure out how to make it big enough for you to read on my blog, so you can follow the link at the bottom or print it off.


You can find the website HERE

The chart was made to show how Fetal Alcohol Syndrome can effect children in many different ways, but that is not what drew me to the chart. I am 99.5% sure our girls were not exposed to alcohol in the womb.

It was the last column that caught my eye... POVERTY. Poverty has 6 characteristics and can you believe that one of our girls has ALL SIX of them and the other one has half of them. It was a breakthrough moment for me. Just because they were taken away from the poverty doesn't mean that it no longer effects them. It also made me realize that we are not dealing with major attachment issues.

One of the biggest things the girls have is: manage time poorly/lacking of comprehension of time. I will admit this one is very frustrating to me. It takes them FOREVER to do anything. Getting ready in the morning or at night, cleaning their room, eating (for one), getting in and our of the van and on and on. I thought it was them just being defiant (we deal with that too), but I now think it is from their environment as an infant/toddler. It has made me realize I NEED to be more patient. When you live in a third world country, time doesn't matter. Most can only focus on getting food and water. Every day is the same. There isn't piano lessons, school (for the majority), library time or sport practices to think about and schedule. It is just them, desperately trying to survive. How horrible of me to be frustrated because they are making us run late. I have been making changes in myself. No it hasn't made the behavior any better, but it is helping me to refocus.

These two little girls have made me realize how selfish I was. They actually have made me realize a lot about myself. Really, I believe the Lord has used the adoption to do just that. I am a work in progress, to say the least!

I felt like I needed to share this chart, because maybe it would help one of you understand the reason of your child's behavior.