I always told myself I would be honest while doing this blog. It is the true story of our life and our adoption journey. I will admit it hasn't been an easy journey since we have been home. I struggle with writing this because most people only want to hear the good and that adoption is nothing but easy. Well, for us it has not been and I end most days feeling overwhelmed.
Going from 3 to 5 children is a challenge that I didn't think we'd face. You always hear people say, "Once you have three children, you can have 10 and it won't be a big change. For me, it has been a big change. A huge change. Then add the fact that I homeschool our oldest three. I always feel like I am trying to catch up and that I am never ahead. The laundry is always overflowing, dishes are always in the sink and toys are always on the floor.
The girls have had a lot of behavior issues. The issues, I believe, are steamed mostly from poverty. I do think some of it is the loss that they have experienced, but poverty is a horrible thing that I don't think people understand. I know I couldn't grasp the effects that poverty can truly have on a person until I lived it through our girls. Yes, we were told that adopting toddlers would be hard. I read lots of books and we had to complete a workbook and online class for our agency in order to adopt. But there is truly nothing that could of prepared me.
The girls are bonding and attaching just fine. I do think that with adopting two it maybe a little slower than if we adopted just one toddler. They are picking up English very quickly, but they only speak Amharic to each other. I love the fact that they are holding onto their language and it is just the cutest thing to hear them talk to each other.
My children do bring me so much joy and I know that I am living the life that God intended for me. Over the last 2 1/2 months I have learned so much about myself (not all good). But they are things that I don't think I would of learned if we hadn't adopted. God never wants to to remain stagnant. He was us to continue to grow in Him and be stretched. I know this is what He is doing in my life. I realize that it is during this time that there are only one set of footprints in the sand, because he is carrying me through all of this. Life is not promised to be easy, but it is how we live the day to day that matters.
Each week does get a little easier, but I think it is just going to take time for the poverty mindset to be altered. I don't feel it is right to post all the behavioral issues that we are dealing with, but if someone wants to email me privately I will be more than happy to "chat".
21 comments:
Tisha - I'm sorry it's been rough. It's awesome you have the confidence that God is working through this! It's still overwhelming and hard, but keeping the "big picture" in mind is so important. And, setting that example for your kids is priceless.
You're doing a great job!
Praying for you Tisha...
I am praying for you and your family. Thank you for sharing your heart. You are so right...God placed these girls with you and He is carrying you through this transition.
Blessings,
Amy
Lifting you up in prayer today! Thanks for being transparent so we know to pray and I know God is faithful and will continue to carry you through. Sometimes we just need to share with others and the breakthrough comes!
Jenny
So real, so true and so ok. I love that God is using this season to take you beyond yourself and further into the depths of Him. Loving being with you on the journey.
It is a huge adjustment... we went from one to two but I swear the laundry went CRAZY (we also cloth diaper so I guess that helps). Keep up the good work...
Sending you many prayers and hugs. It is all ok. All of the feelings and stress and worry. 2 1/2 months is not long when you add 2 new little people with history into your family. I know you will be ok...you are a great mama. I personally would put the homeschooling slightly on the back burner for a bit...take the pressure off of yourself. You know as a hs mom you can always make up for lost time quickly later on when things smooth out a bit. I did when we brought Boo home from guatemala..it just seems like too much for me to do everything ,everyday for a while until things calmed down at bit :) Praying for you !
you are not alone!!
Tisha, e-mail me. Would love to chat with you about this. The boys were 11 mos. and 2.5 years when they came home, and the adjustment was drastically different between the ages. E-mail me.
sarakparker@sbcglobal.net
Does not sound fun all the time, but honesty is much better than no honesty. I think through all of our experiences we have opened up the eyes of many about the craziness, insanity, harshness, and sometimes desperateness families feel during adoptions. Hanging onto God is the ONLY thing that keeps us going. Praying for your family.
so glad you posted this. i want to adopt a toddler next time (hubby NOT ready to think this way at all) and we need to hear the realities. i honestly didn't realize that poverty can be the bigger issue than loss. so glad to "know" you. praying for you to be strong in his grace.
Praying hard for you Tisha, and I'm so thankful you know where to cast your cares, your doing great!
Thanks so much for your honesty. I love seeing you and the girls at co-op (and we love your boys too :) ). I'll be praying that the adjustments get easier. It's helpful that you are able to understand a bit of where some of their behaviors are coming from.
Blessings to you, my friend. You are an amazing mother. Hold on- I know it's hard and remember many a day ending in tears for me after the kids went to bed. It's exhausting in every way. Praying for God's peace and His vision for your family to sustain you in all that you do.
We just hit the magic 6 months home mark, and looking back it really was HARD at times with just one new toddler (and just one older child). I can only imagine multiplying it exponentially like your family has. But we've really gotten our groove these days, and you will too. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to do everything right now- it's only been 2.5 months. (I was thinking of you homeschooling the other day when I was struggling to just help with homework- while corralling a toddler, it's nearly impossible). You'll have a new dynamic worked out in due time.
Tisha -- We've been so consumed with our adoption story, that I forget the challenges facing other adoptive parents. And the happy blogs and photos sometimes make people feel like something is wrong when its not always beautiful music and smiles. We're praying for you and your wonderful family.
I honestly don't know how you do it all. I think you are doing great to even still be homeschooling the boys while adjusting to the addition of two toddlers. I feel overwhelmed many days with one toddler, and one crawler. Just remember this "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
I appreciate you sharing your heart so openly. Praying for all of you as you continue to adjust to your new normal. Love you!
Christina
You are doing a great job. Hang in there! Maybe we could get together in the next week or so. There is a lot I could learn from you.
Thanks for your honesty--it's refreshing. Toddlerhood is a tough stage no matter how you do it. I think toddler girls are a little different than boys too. My boys at age 2 were physically crazy and bounced off the wall. My third child is a girl and she's emotionally draining already! Of course I love all of it. It just drains you. That's why we need to make time to connect with the Lord even when there's so much house work to do:) Thanks again for this post I really appreciated it.
Hang in there.
I appreciate the beautiful family that you share with us all! Thank you.
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