Growing up I had two dreams about being a mother. One was to adopt from Africa and the other was to mother twins. While I didn't have many life experiences with adoption (I am still unsure how that seed was planted into my young mind), I did have some with twins. When I was 13, I started babysitting a set of newborn twins, (they are now getting ready to graduate from high school... wowzers I am old) after that I was drawn toward twins. I babysat many different sets of twins throughout highschool and college and I loved every moment of it. I was in awe of their uniqueness and I just loved dressing them alike.
I wanted twins so badly that when I was pregnant with Isaac, our first, I was certain there were twins in there. I went to my 12 week appointment and told the doctor just that, I was having twins. He listened to the heartbeat, set me up, looked at me and said, "There is only one in there, but you really need to stop eating for three." CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? Needless to say I was crushed. Mostly by the doctors harsh words. Monte called him that night and told him how out of line he was. He personally called me at home the next day to apologize, but I never did go back to see him.
Anyway...
While we were on the adoption wait list I never dreamed we would get twins. Even though a lot of twins were referred I had it in my mind we would get a baby and a toddler. You can imagine my surprise when we were referred twin girls. I still get goose bumps at the awesomeness of God and also His sense of humor. From the start of our adoption process to Ethiopia we knew it wasn't right for us to choose gender. The Lord had blessed us with three amazing boys and I wasn't going to limit Him and tell Him what I thought was best for our family. I think He has that all under control. So, we were open to either gender and I truly was ok with getting two boys. With that being said, I know every family situation is unique and please know I do not judge those who do choose a gender. Everyones adoption story is different, that is why adoption is so incredible.
This is where God's sense of humor comes in... two. year. old. twin. girls. Really? Do I need to say more? The one life experience I didn't have when babysitting was twin girls. They were either girl/boy or boy/boy. Let me just say, it is so different than parenting a single child. Granted I have NO experience with girls and I am sure some of it has to do with them both being girls. But I literally just stare at them at times because of the things they come up with. They can be getting along so well one minute and the next minute the claws are out and they are verbally and physically going at it (yes, I do step in and play referee). Now my boys can get into arguments, but nothing they have ever done compares to this.
I know girls can be dramatic, but I think twin girls take it to a whole new level. If one has an ouchie the other has one "magically" appear and it is soon followed by tears if she is not given the same attention as the child that is really hurt.
If I am holding one of them then the other one needs to be held too and the temper tantrums start if they don't have an equal amount of my lap.
Chloe is a very messy eater and there are days I forget to put a bib on her. She usually will spill something on her shirt. As soon as I take her shirt off, Hannah ALWAYS has a spill "magically" appear on her shirt, only she can get a new one too. I will say this one doesn't set too well with me. I do not give into her and she does not get a new shirt. It has to be wiped off and dried.
I know they are very competitive by nature, but I want my girls to grow up and know that my love is the same for both of them. My love is the same for all five of my children. I pray this will be something we can overcome with time. It may take a lifetime of prayer and consistency and that will be ok too.
Not only have I had to learn how to adequately mother two adopted children, I have also had to learn how to parent twins. I know there are days that the Lord gets a good laugh from me and the unique situation that He blessed us with. He made my childhood dreams a reality all wrapped up together in two precious little girls. God is SO good!
8 comments:
I have always wanted twins too. The chance of us conceiving twins is pretty low. We stepped in this journey of adoption planning for one baby, but as we are working on our paperwork I just keep contemplating twins. My husband and I agreed that if we can get out of debt before we get on the wait list, then we will request twins. So now I'm praying for a miracle!!! =)
too cute...love those precious girls, kj
kudos to your husband for calling back the jerky doctor. love this post. i know your learning curve is high, but it is obvious you are doing a great job!
ugh I can't get enough of your precious kids:) People keep telling me I now have twins since they are 14 months apart (probably closer than that in reality) but wowzers I never knew how much work it would be! It is incredible how tired I am by the end of the day.
Tish, they are beautiful!! They look so well loved, your doing a fantastic job, even though I KNOW it is hard at times!
I have wanted twins......and sort of have triplets...well...only sort of. Our 3 boys are all within 1 year of age..in fact this past week the were officially all 7 for a whole week. Maybe someday...we will have twins?? Who knows. I am sure there are many ups and downs with it as you know :)
love hearing how God made that childhood dream a reality. Such a joy. We just passed the 11 days every year that my 2 girls are "twins" (well at least the same age and like to say their twins!) and sometimes I feel that act like twins. Crazy!
this is probably old news to you, but i thought of you immediately when i saw "little miss twins" by roger hargreaves. i love those little miss and little mr. books and think it's so fun there is a twins one! this is going to be such a fun christmas for you...and for us too.
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